It’s been a while but I’m feeling rather reflective this evening. Probably a side effect of forgetting to order repeat prescriptions and being just a bit too busy to sort it out.
I can feel a difference and it’s not a good one. Keeping up a facade. Keeping the happy mask on. It’s tough. It’s exhausting. It’s no wonder I’m always tired.
I can feel my irritability levels increasing. I need to sort myself out. Follow my own advice. I can see myself snapping. The plus side to not having adequate levels of medication on board have given me a lot of vivid dreams, as my brain comes to terms with itself and the chemistry going on in there.
Trying to remain chirpy over the last few weeks when under immense pressure in a few aspects of life has been the hardest. I know I can control this black dog that is increasingly haunting my being. I can beat this. I can recover.
If history has taught me anything, it’s that I can be dealt a terrible deck, and still manoeuvre my way through life with the right support around me. I have it within me. I just need to believe.