If I could just find the time


It’s been a while but I’m feeling rather reflective this evening. Probably a side effect of forgetting to order repeat prescriptions and being just a bit too busy to sort it out.

I can feel a difference and it’s not a good one. Keeping up a facade. Keeping the happy mask on. It’s tough. It’s exhausting. It’s no wonder I’m always tired.

I can feel my irritability levels increasing. I need to sort myself out. Follow my own advice. I can see myself snapping. The plus side to not having adequate levels of medication on board have given me a lot of vivid dreams, as my brain comes to terms with itself and the chemistry going on in there.

Trying to remain chirpy over the last few weeks when under immense pressure in a few aspects of life has been the hardest. I know I can control this black dog that is increasingly haunting my being. I can beat this. I can recover.

If history has taught me anything, it’s that I can be dealt a terrible deck, and still manoeuvre my way through life with the right support around me. I have it within me. I just need to believe.


2 thoughts on “If I could just find the time

  1. Mr MAGrego

    Old man meds are important in maintaining that balance especially for you managing so many things life work and your own expectations of yourself hopefully we will catch up before Xmas a drink or two chin up soldier on

  2. Mr MAGrego

    Take your own advice you need your own time space to help maintain a good life balance and it’s ok to snap gently at people it sets the boundaries especially with work you can be to nice.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s