Category Archives: mental health

Alright Mate? Full Poem

Alright mate?

Let’s get this straight.

Don’t hate

Don’t just tolerate

Don’t ignore

I implore

My mind it castrates

Thoughts burn and berate

Let’s get this stuff off my plate

Alright mate?

I don’t want your sympathy mate

But your time you can donate

Ease my burden mate

The dark, it fixates

Alright mate

Tolerate

Educate

I’ve opened the flood gate

I know I frustrate

But it’s just my trait

For so long, I can’t backdate

Mate

my heart rate

Wait

My problems I’ll narrate

Gain weight

Lose weight

My mind prison, I’m the only inmate

Not today, not a playmate

I might migrate

Escape, fall or just stagnate

Tried drugs, hugs

Tried to walk, to talk

Meditate

But all I wanna hear is

Alright mate?

Alright, mate.

You need to activate

To regulate

But I can’t concentrate

So desolate

I overestimate

I formulate that

I need you mate

I’ll hibernate

Real life I imitate

Not intimate

I lacerate

Expel my hate

I self medicate

I postulate

Can’t recreate

Day by Day I orchestrate

“Normal life?”

I suffocate

Don’t speculate

Just ask

You Alright mate?

I don’t innovate

I vegetate

Not appreciate

Not collaborate

But it’s not deliberate

Will you be alright mate?

I debilitate

But don’t discriminate

Carry on and I’ll seal my own fate

But wouldn’t it be great, to hear,

Alright mate?

Skin emaciate

Hope evaporates

I manipulate

Never participate

We procrastinate

All I need

To resuscitate

Is alright mate

Your here

I can recuperate

Eating sulphates, nitrates

I won’t deteriorate

Affects my metabolic rate

Fertility rate

With time, I can invigorate

Is it a temporary state?

Yeah?

Alright mate.

My psychological state

Don’t underestimate

Rehabilitate

Light after dark

Illuminate

Don’t deteriorate

Stop hallucinate

Let’s reintegrate

Participate

Don’t impersonate

Collaborate

Articulate

Alleviate your affiliate

With an alright mate?

Orchestrate

Help me navigate

Motivate

Liberate

I will illustrate

And fascinate

Let’s celebrate

Change my state

Conversations we update

To start with a genuine

Alright mate?

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Alright Mate? – World Mental Health Day 2018

Alright?

Doesn’t take a lot does it? Just to check in. To ask how someone is feeling. And if they feel like telling you they will. But double check. That’s one of the key messages coming out of this year’s World Mental Health Day….and I love it.

For someone in the midst of a difficult time, as I am at the moment, the simplest question can be so very powerful. So with that in mind, I have recently been experimenting with poetry – it actually pre dates this crisis, but the message remains the same.

I donated a poem to an album of music which was released today, details of which can be found below, you can buy a digital copy of the album or stream through Spotify.

https://outofthebox1.bandcamp.com/releases

So please, have a listen, and check in on someone today. It worked for me. Someone has genuinely asked if I’m alright, and it’s made my day.

Anxiety’s calling in my head

Panic.

It’s a word in common language, used everyday. By all of us. By me. But I’d never really had a proper panic attack before last week. Now I know the meaning.

I was having a shower, odd place for a panic attack I know but stick with me here. I tilted my head a bit too far back, and took on a bit too much water in my nose and eyes.

This is when the panic set in. Hyperventilation. Sweating (I didn’t know I could sweat in the shower). All in a matter of seconds. My fragile mind transported back twenty odd years to when I nearly drowned. I say drowned. Someone tried to drown me. A swimming instructor.

So I never learnt to swim properly until I was 21, taught after I finished my degree on my post-university holiday. All because of fear. Anxiety. Panic. I’m still not a strong swimmer because this latent fear sits in the back of my mind. So please don’t expect me to jump in to save you if you’re struggling. I’ll try but I can’t promise anything.

So here I was. In the shower. Trying to catch my breath. Water still gushing out. Trying to get a sense of my surroundings again so I can calm myself down. Easier said than done.

Panic.

Where am I? I can’t breath. I’m definitely going to die. God it’s wet. It’s hot. I’m hot. Oh my god. I’m going to pass out. In my shower. Alone. And it’ll use up all the hot water. Then I’ll be in trouble.

So I sat down. Don’t ask me why. I just did. I was closer to the taps. I could survive. I will survive. The waters stopped. Why am I still breathing like I’ve just sprinted an uphill marathon?

Calm down.

I can’t.

Then slooooooowly. A old lesson came back to me. I briefly revisited a meditation exercise I learnt from the big breakfast in the 90s. Closed my eyes. Breathe in through the nose. Out through the mouth. Within what felt like an hour but was probably a minute I was back to myself.

Back to normal. Well as normal as I can be.

So I have reflected on this experience in the last week. It has taught me that I can overcome fears, be that fear of open water by using the help of friends or overcoming a small panic by utilising old skills.

I can do this. You can do this. We all carry round baggage. Fears. Beliefs. Disbeliefs. Thoughts. Keep on top of them. Let them out from time to time. Talk to each other. Start a conversation. Embrace each other and respect our differences.

Be beautiful to one another