It’s been a while brewing this blog, but here goes.
I have spent the last few months in a mood limbo which I have now come to know as contentment. From a terrible start to the year resulting in many years and sleepless nights for me and my family, I am now in a phase where everything is, well, fine.
I have changed jobs in that time which has given me a renewed focus and fantastic colleagues to share my days with. At home, I sleep better, I eat well, I think (THINK) I’m less of a grump. All in all things are going well. I am content.
But fearful. My old friends anxiety, self doubt and depression creep in when I’m aware of my contentment and fill my brain with negative thoughts. But I’m learning to deal with them through some self reflection like this. I know I’m ok. I know there will be bad days but it’s reminding myself that these won’t last and my world can’t come crashing down again. I started the year in such a dark place, I was petrified to be alone. Now as I sit, nay, lie here writing this on my own, a little smile crosses my face safe in the knowledge that I’m ok.
I can put this down to a plethora of factors, medication, support from those around me and a desire to change my mindset. This year I have achieved physical feats never to be repeated. It’s now time to challenge my mind and improve on contentment. I can do this. I will do this.
This is me.